Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Chapter 22

"One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child." 
-Carl Jung

This morning I received a link to an obituary I never wanted to see.

"Pyser S. Edelsack. A dedicated and beloved educator, husband, father and friend, Pyser Edelsack died of lung cancer on May 5 in New York City."

Sometime in late February, I was piecing together details that he received the diagnosis of lung cancer. I couldn't believe it. This man was the healthiest person I know. At his age, who could bike from the Staten Island Ferry to Hamilton Heights and still squeeze in some laps at the college pool? He led such a healthy lifestyle, he couldn't possibly have cancer.

I needed to confirm for myself, so I sent him an email asking him if he will be attending my graduation party.

The response: "Joanne, When you have a minute could you call me so we can chat.  This spring is different for me than any other.  Any time this weekend would be ok…..pse".

I remember the day I called. I was on a highway on my way to Boston, anxious because I didn't know how I could deal with what he was going to tell me. So I did what I do best: smiled and spoke in the highest of spirits as if I knew nothing. The conversation was short since he was concerned that I was driving. We actually never got to speak about "it" but I knew something was wrong for it was all in his voice. He told me if he was able to make it some way, he will make it to my party.

I just didn't expect it to be in spirit.

I texted him shortly after to tell him he didn't sound like himself and that I had confidence that he'll be quite alright but in the process to not let it steal his sunshine. His response ":) pse ".

I can go through thousands of emails copying and pasting all his words of wisdoms and encouragement. His continuous support and non wavering belief that I will be a great doctor. However, that will not suffice. His impact goes beyond writing.

Not many people rubbed him the right way or understood the complexity of his character. The way he would violate all intimate boundaries and get so close to your face you're afraid to even breathe. The way his green oval glasses suited him so well because he was just that odd person or as Grace would say "ese viejo loco". Our multiple conversations about the Knicks and how maybe NEXT year we'll get the 'chip while I was quietly hoping one day he'll give me tickets to his seasonal seats that he's had since Ewing was in Georgetown. I must've sat in his office so many times with a defeated look. He would then ask me questions to a depth that I always left his office more confused than I was when I entered but in the end I knew he always had my back.

He shared the vision of his pal Jack Geiger with such a deep passion for primary care that it was unparalleled. A passion that was then transferred over to me. The endless scholarship, fellowship and program recommendation letters that I have asked from him and with no hesitation he would write them for me. I had every intention in calling him this week and I didn't. I owe him so much and it just hurts that I won't be able to repay him.

"Joanne,
what an honor to meet your mom and dad......to be really honest she is not as pretty as you are.....andre is your cheer leader and I am ghost of "let's get the job done",,,,,,i am here if you ever need to talk......i have total confidence in you, just keep your eye on the immediate job at hand.....NO MORE INTERNET......warm, warm regards,,,,,and most of all CONGRATS ON GRADUATING FROM SOHPIE.......PSE

pse mobile2"

The job is now done Prof. Edelsack (without sacrificing my birthday) and I thank you for that. Forever in my heart. May you rest in peace in the blue and orange skies.

Lesson Learned: Call your loved ones for tomorrow is not promised.
A dedicated and beloved educator, husband, father, uncle and friend, Pyser Edelsack died of lung cancer on May 5 in New York City. - See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/nytimes/obituary.aspx?n=pyser-s-edelsack&pid=170931105&fhid=2086#sthash.rXDVI9cs.dpuf
A dedicated and beloved educator, husband, father, uncle and friend, Pyser Edelsack died of lung cancer on May 5 in New York City. - See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/nytimes/obituary.aspx?n=pyser-s-edelsack&pid=170931105&fhid=2086#sthash.rXDVI9cs.dpuf
A dedicated and beloved educator, husband, father, uncle and friend, Pyser Edelsack died of lung cancer on May 5 in New York City. - See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/nytimes/obituary.aspx?n=pyser-s-edelsack&pid=170931105&fhid=2086#sthash.rXDVI9cs.dpuf
A dedicated and beloved educator, husband, father, uncle and friend, Pyser Edelsack died of lung cancer on May 5 in New York City. - See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/nytimes/obituary.aspx?n=pyser-s-edelsack&pid=170931105&fhid=2086#sthash.rXDVI9cs.dpuf