Chapter 6

For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.

~Bo Bennett

When I was about seven years old, my mother was having a conversation with my aunt about something my godmother did. I intently listened to the conversation not skipping a beat. Once the conversation was over, I quickly ran over to my godmother and divulged everything my mother said. Definitely got a beating at the end of the day although I didn't understand why I was getting beat. You said you didn't like something about someone then go tell them. As a child, I always questioned this terrible practice of gossiping. Well if you don't like it that much, why not tell them directly?

Growing up, I thought there was this age cut off where we would become wiser and telling the truth would become easier. But as children we've been primed to avoid the truth. If you did something wrong there was this gut-churning fear of the consequence and in order to avoid facing them, well, you create a lie. Same thing in the adult world except there are no consequences per se, just a whole lotta hypocrisy and falling out.

Common lie: "Is everything okay?" "Yea, I'm good" and then proceed to act uncomfortably awkward. Not to mention that lies have even been overly commercialized. Wife asks husband how does she look, husband replies "Fine honey" when to all of America watching the commercial, she looks terrible.

I've grown to really appreciate honesty because it's become a rare commodity. I'm at a stage in my life where I'm tired of the sugar coating, the beating around the bush, or the conversations behind my back. Instead we've grown so dependent on these spurs of honesty: inbox me a number and I'll tell you what I think about you or for an ENTIRE day, I will be completely honest, ready set, go! Is this what we've come down to? Why not be honest EVERY day?

On the other hand, let's say you are one of those brutally honest people, how many people are actually receptive of "criticism"? We've been bred to be defensive when someone points out a flaw as if it were embarrassing. Instead what we should've been taught is to develop a deep appreciation for that person and say thank you, the same way you'll say thank you if someone pointed out you had spinach stuck in your teeth.

There's also a certain way to tell the truth. The tone of voice can't be too judgmental but it also can't sound too sensitive or it will be misinterpreted as a joke. By this time, telling the truth is a complicated process. Not only do you have to carefully choose your words but also your tone of voice? 

If you deeply care for the person, blood or not, there should be a level of comfort in which you can blatantly share your honest opinions or remarks otherwise we'll continue to live in this world full of beguiling friendship.

Lesson learned: Keep it real.