Chapter 8

Everyone is like a butterfly, they start out ugly and awkward and then morph into beautiful graceful butterflies that everyone loves.

~Drew Barrymore

I'm awkward. Super awkward. Especially around strangers I'm forced to meet.

The beginning of every rotation is like the first day of class ALL over again.

Because I'm a transfer student, many of my colleagues give me puzzled looks when they see me at orientation. To make it even more uncomfortable, I'm not socially outgoing. In order to make up for this flaw, I default to my cellphone. I somehow manage to have so many emails and texts to respond to which forces me to have my head down for some time. This stint can only hold up for but so long until I approach borderline antisocial.

So I switch to staring into space which in my head makes it easier for me to introduce myself. I look up, to the sides, to one person's face but only long enough before they notice and then quickly go back to looking up. This continues until someone breaks the ice and asks "Are you a Sophie Davis student?".

Sigh. Finally. Once that happens, I loosen up and become friendly.

I wish I possessed the networking skill in which I can gracefully walk into a room, introduce myself and instantly spark a conversation. I've gone to so many seminars, lectures, workshops on how to network that I can give a lecture my damn self but I can't even begin to put it in practice.

When I was a Colin Powell Fellow, the administrators thought it was a good idea for me to go a fundraiser hosted by Mayor Bloomberg and Gen. Colin Powell. It took place at Gracie Mansion and there were potential donors who wanted to hear from the fellows themselves. Boy was the pressure on. I stood in a corner and watched my colleagues work the floors. I honestly tried to initiate a conversation but upon reading the name tags and their positions, I blushed and just smiled.

Breakfast was to be served so I sat at the table in the back corner. A friendly gentleman, whose name tag I couldn't see, began talking to me. We made small talk until I struck a cord bringing up Dominican Republic. Here I was talking to the ambassador of South Korea about the beaches of Dominican Republic. I wasn't nervous, my face wasn't flushed, I didn't stutter. This conversation went so smoothly.

Similar situation occurred when I went to a summit for Hispanic Scholarship Fund. Again, I sat at the back table in the corner. A gentleman sat next to me and again Dominican Republic struck another cord. He spent some time abroad in the countryside of Dominican Republic. For the rest of the night, the conversation went smoothly. He was called on stage and he happened to be some head honcho at Wells Fargo that donated $1 million dollars that night.

If its one thing that I learned about myself is that I'm at ease if I can speak to people not knowing their titles, who they work for, or what they do for a living. All I need to know is their name. Plain and simple.

Lesson Learned: If all else fails, talk about Dominican Republic. Just Kidding. At times we get entangled with the accolades of a person which can be intimidating and in my case paralyzes you. However for many of these people their work is what they do and not who they are. There is so much more to a person than their position of their job. When meeting people for a first time, try to get to know the person for who they are and you'll notice how much easier it is to start a conversation.