Chapter 7

The way most doctors practice medicine right now is not working.

~ Mark Hyman

6 am - 6pm.

That is my schedule Mon- Thursday. The weekend is even worse. 

Besides fearing the rumored (and often true) arrogance that surgeons are known for, I can't even begin to fathom how I'm going to get through this surgical rotation in the midst of winter.

You see, doctors are the epitome of irony. Who knows best the physiology and limits of the human body but yet find themselves constantly abusing the body and depriving it of sleep? What field constantly promotes humanism yet as our healthcare becomes more capitalistic we're missing clear signs because all we're looking for are dollar signs? 

Medicine is a highly regarded field which is becoming more and more glorified. However, the road to becoming to physician is a treacherous one. Today the clerkship director called us test taking machines and that's precisely what medical school is about. Unfortunately, much of a doctor's success is measured on their test taking abilities. Forget compassion, humanism, and communication skills.

If you haven't noticed yet, I'm jaded and I have been having doubts about my career choice. Spending time on the hospital floors hasn't reinvigorated this inner fire I once possessed. Instead of being in a place of healing, I was in a shark tank. I understand working in a city hospital can be demanding and MANY of the patients aren't the most pleasant ones but we mustn't forget our core human values. 

I'll never forget the day I interviewed a patient who was said to have early signs of dementia because she "acted out". Before I even began asking my questions the patient quickly stated "You're not gonna want to hear my story." Yes, she was a long winded talker but after sitting and talking to her, she was FAR from demented, reacted as a normal human being should when your property has been stolen and you've been lied to. I can't imagine what this poor lady has been through in order for her to believe no one would lend an ear.

I have this genuine fear that when I become a physician, I might inadvertently submit to this culture of apathy and get lost in the sea of supply and demand. Until then I must continue to remind myself why I'm here.

Lesson Learned: My friend's father reminded me to have fun and as a student I forget to do just that. Fear is a powerful motivator but can also serve as a road block. Go into experiences with the hopes of making a difference and brush aside preconceived notions.